Hi, let me try to help you with this. I think I know what you mean.
Jade. I absolutely loathe playing against this bitch because literally EVERY SINGLE ONE I COME ACROSS just goes ham,
Please define "goes ham" or even better, do you have any videos of situations that you couldn't deal with?
despite the character having huge gaps, being unsafe, low damage, etc. And despite my knowledge of all this,
Knowing where the huge gaps are and being able to react in that Time-Frame makes ALL the difference. You probably knew this, though. As for unsafe, not entirely. A large amount of her Normals, notably B3 and F3 are just safe, while her staff normals are made safe by range and/or a safe special cancel. Finally, "Low Damage" is subjective. She can very well secure a life lead if you fail to land your own combos, which she is fairly good at preventing you from doing.
When and why are you jumping? Jumping is considered a very Low Level Strategy in most fighting games except for certain situations, such as if you have Air Specials, (Or you're Kabal and you can jump away from an opponent and combo them off of a Jumping Normal for half their Health Bar. LOL) or normals which lead to damage or set-ups.
Of the characters you listed, Cetrion is the only such character and you probably shouldn't be jumping otherwise.
Try a Royal Flush.
Joke aside, pokes are S-T-U-P-I-D in this game and I hope they will change very soon. You can throw pokes, though. Especially Jade's. Her pokes are LONG over and you can STILL throw the Hurt Box. If Jade is trying to poke you, remember, you can always just move backwards. Her D4 is the only poke she can reach you at range with. Even better: You can learn the rage on d1 and d3, and use a Mid. Her D1 has lousy range. One of the main reasons EVERYONE has Dropped her by now.
duck the overhead and just give them the win before the game even starts.
Sounds like you get frustrated. Jade plays on that sentiment. The Entire Character is built to be annoying for those who have not yet figured her out.
Scorpion and Liu Kang used to give me trouble like this but I feel I've improved on the matchup and that they aren't as mentally taxing anymore, whereas Jade just destroys me no matter what I try.
I hear Scorpion is Bottom Tier now, you'll be fine.
Again, kidding aside, those two actually give Jade hell on so many levels. Try and pick them up and just counterpick if you can't seem to handle her on your mains.
Does anyone else experience this? I know I'm impatient and not playing the matchup right, but I'm at my whits end here. Feels like I'm fucking cursed or something.
If you know you're impatient and not playing the Match-Up right, you're on the right track.
Figure out how to overcome it.